I miss you baby. When can I see you again?

This is 1 hour after your boyfriend drops you off at your place. You’ve spent 3 weeks with him.

Somehow, you can’t seem to breathe properly when he’s not close to you and your heart rate amps up for some weird reason each time you call him and he doesn’t pick.

When you’re with him, you want his attention all the time. In his home, you follow him everywhere. You follow him to the kitchen and to the sitting room and to the toilet. You burrow yourself under him every chance you get. You get mad when his attention is fixed on someone else (could be his friends or his mum) or something for more than an hour

&nbsp;You call yourself clingy. “I’m just a clingy babe”.&nbsp;

You say it matter of factly. Like that’s the way things are supposed to be and somehow your boyfriend and everyone close should just understand that.

While clingy can be cute, are you really a clingy babe or do you just have an anxious attachment style?

You’re probably wondering now…what the hell is an anxious attachment style?

What Is An Anxious Attachment Style?

Anxious attachment style is a term psychologists use to describe people who often feel insecure, crave reassurance, and seek closeness with their partners.&nbsp;

It's like having an emotional antenna that is hypersensitive in your relationship.

&nbsp;There's a significant difference between Clinginess and an anxious attachment style.

&nbsp;You see clinginess tends to come from a place of dependence, whereas an anxious attachment style is rooted in deep-seated insecurities.&nbsp;

People with anxious attachment styles almost always crave emotional closeness and reassurance, rather than trying to control their partner. However most clingy people&nbsp; may exhibit possessive behaviors, constantly seeking validation and attention.&nbsp;

Clinginess often arises from a fear of abandonment, but it lacks the self-awareness and emotional regulation that define an anxious attachment style.

Clinginess it’s like an anxious attachment&nbsp; without depth or reason.

An Anxious attachment style stems from a genuine need for emotional closeness and security. Those with this attachment style experience intense emotions, such as jealousy, fear of rejection, and a constant need to be reassured.&nbsp; They often seek reassurance from their partners, not out of a desire to control or possess them but rather top quell their own internal fears.&nbsp;

Understanding the clear difference between being clingy and having an anxious attachment style is important&nbsp; for fostering a healthy relationship.&nbsp;

People who struggle with an anxious attachment style need to be encouraged to have&nbsp; open, honest conversations with their partners.&nbsp;

By recognizing that your attachment stems from your insecurity&nbsp; you can start to build the bridge of maintaining your own emotional well-being.

Let’s also note that&nbsp; having an anxious attachment style doesn't make you weak or undesirable, it is&nbsp; reflects your&nbsp; their unique approach to relationships.

Now that we've explored what an anxious attachment style is, let's dig deeper and uncover some of the causes behind it.&nbsp;

Some of the major reasons for an anxious attachment style include;

Our attachment styles often develop during our formative years. If you grow up in an environment where your emotional needs are not met or where you experienced some form of neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent care, it can create a foundation of insecurity. These experiences can shape our beliefs about relationships and trigger anxious attachment patterns later in life.

Our relationship with our parents or caregivers can play a significant role in shaping our attachment style later in relationships. If your&nbsp; parents were consistently available, responsive, and nurturing, it’s normal to develop a secure attachment style. However, if your parents were inconsistent, distant, or overwhelmed, you may develop an anxious attachment style as a way to compensate for the lack of emotional security.

Traumatic events, such as the loss of a loved one, a betrayal, or a significant relationship breakup, can intensify anxious attachment tendencies. These experiences can create a deep fear of abandonment and reinforce the belief that relationships are fragile and unstable.

How Can You Deal With An Anxious Attachment Style?

Now that we understand the causes behind an anxious attachment style, let's explore how you can navigate this attachment pattern and cultivate healthier relationships:

The first step towards healing is self-awareness. Take time to reflect on your attachment style and understand how it manifests in your relationships. Notice your patterns of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By becoming aware of these tendencies, you can start to make conscious choices and responses.

Challenge Negative Thoughts:&nbsp;

Anxious attachment often feeds on negative thoughts and fears. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on evidence or if they are rooted in past experiences. Replace negative self-talk with more balanced and realistic perspectives.

Practice Emotional Regulation:&nbsp;

Anxious attachment can lead to intense emotions that may feel overwhelming at times. Develop healthy coping mechanisms to regulate your emotions, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, journaling, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and calmness.

Establish open and honest communication with your partner. Share your fears, insecurities, and needs. Building trust and creating a safe space for vulnerability can help alleviate anxiety and strengthen the bond between you and your partner.

Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in attachment issues. They can provide guidance, tools, and techniques tailored to your specific needs and help you navigate the challenges associated with an anxious attachment style.

Be gentle with yourself throughout this journey. Remember, your attachment style is not a flaw or a sign of unworthiness. Embrace self-compassion, practice self-care, and cultivate a positive self-image. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a dear friend.

At the end of the day, remember you have the power to detach yourself from a negative experience and explore much healthier relationships.

''Clinginess often arises from a fear of abandonment, but it lacks the self-awareness and emotional regulation that define an anxious attachment style. Clinginess is like an anxious attachment  without depth or reason.''

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