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Gaya

Many people often assume that losing the spark in a relationship is a sign that the relationship has run its course. So not true. I'm a victim of this ideology and admit to ending a relationship because it wasn't sizzling as I wanted, but maybe I was just too lazy to put in the effort.&nbsp;

Keyword: Effort. It's normal to feel a loss of spark in a relationship, according to long-term couples. The sweet phase of dating is such a bliss, you feel like you're in a movie rocking that main character's energy with your amazing lover and then boom, it starts to go cold. Not exactly the happily ever after we all dream about, but who says you can't create your happy ending?&nbsp;

If you don't schedule a fancy date night with your partner at least once a month, I'm giving you a bombastic side eye, cause how do you expect to keep the spark alive if you're not doing that? Yes, date nights are important for relationships, but it might not be enough to keep the romance sizzling. One of the easiest ways to keep your romantic relationship sizzling is by doing simple acts of service in your mundane daily routine. You don't have to dress up nice, wear full makeup or get a haircut before it ignites a spark. It takes work, and the work can be done with simple things.&nbsp;

What causes the romance to sizzle out?&nbsp;

Quite simple, life happens. Relationships are unique according to the personalities of the couple, but the most common causes include tight schedules, long distance, mundane routine or hidden resentment. Any relationship can go through a phase of losing the spark, and it is more common than you think. Even in the best relationships or long-term healthy relationships, the romance can sizzle out if work is not being out. It's like regularly going to the gym, then you stop, and your body slowly loses all the work you've previously put in. Or consistently watering a plant, then you forgot one day and never watered it again. Yes, I compared your relationship to a plant, and you do need to water your relationship to keep the passion burning like the hole in Turkmenistan.&nbsp;

Life gets overwhelming and frustrating. There's work (Money must be made), social life and even children. You're busy all the time, your partners are busy all the time, so how do you make time for the relationship?

Life hits us in different shades every day, and who's to say your relationship won't feel the brunt of it? There's work, tight schedules, errands, hectic to-do lists and different time zones for long-distance couples. With all these, it can be hard to keep your relationship sizzling hot like a never-ending romantic movie. Hard, not impossible, so you might want to grab a pen and paper to jot down all the easy ways to keep your romantic relationship sizzling.&nbsp;

How to keep your relationship sizzling hot

Closed mouths don't get fed. Ask, and it shall be given to you. Speak or forever hold your peace. I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the drift. You have desires and needs. It would be nice if your partner could read your mind and do exactly what you wanted, but they can't. Annoying, I know. So what do we do? We ask.&nbsp;

To keep the spark in your relationship burning, you need to know what exactly the spark is for you and your partner. The things that make you feel loved and seen might be different for your partner. Your love language might not be their love language, and that's okay. If your partner is not giving you love in the way you want, it would affect the relationship, and instead of concluding there's no spark or chemistry, you have to communicate with them. Don't feel resentment because they're not getting it right, or unable to notice what you haven't spoken about. If you want that relationship and love your partner, you need to step up and ask that they love you how you want. Also, be ready to love them back exactly how they want.&nbsp;

Your phone isn't running away, I promise. The number of people on social media eager to share their two cents on relationship advice is endless. Not that the advice is bad or great, but using it to gauge your relationship is a very bad idea. One shoe size doesn't fit all. What works for A won't work for B, so why listen to strangers' advice on the Internet on how to handle your relationship? I, not included cause I offer only solid advice if the shoe fits you.&nbsp;

Social media eats at us quickly, and we're all hooked regardless. As a phone addict trying to curb the time I spend on social media (Tiktok to be precise), I know how easy it is to get caught up. I know there are days when you fight with your partner, and the next minute, you see a quote befitting your situation. You're not alone, and you shouldn't let social media deter the spark in your relationship. For the benefit of your relationship, do yourself a favour and reduce how much you use your phone, especially when you're with your partner. Enjoy a nice meal, have a deep conversation or binge-watch your favourite shows together without your phone or social media as a distraction. Bask in the moment you have and be present.&nbsp;

When was the last time you and your partner did something new together? Can't recall? Then you're due for one to keep your relationship sizzling. Breaking out of normal habits does good for the mind, and it can do the same for your relationship.&nbsp;

There are plenty of options to choose from, like a trip to a new city or country, sign up for a cooking class, pottery or art class, join a club, or take up new hobbies together. The key is to choose something you both will love or find something new that interests you and your partner. New activities can be very fun and exciting enough to have your blood pumping with adrenaline and the spark of love.&nbsp;

Seeing your partner in a different element, unlike what you're used to, will teach you things you never knew about them or even imagined. It can even remind you exactly why you fell in love with them in the first place, and make you crazier about them. Do not underestimate the power of doing new things together and finding your spark again.&nbsp;

Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Or is it distance that makes the heart weary? Out of sight, out of mind? I'm not sure which it is, but let's go with the former. For people who cohabitate with their partners or just spend plenty of time together, spending time apart can do a lot of good for the relationship. By spending time apart, I don't mean long distance for months. A few hours, a week, or a few weeks will get the job done.&nbsp;

If you ever wonder what it's like to reconnect after seeing your partner for a while, you might need to spend time apart. It gives you the chance to miss them and have lots of things to catch up on. Sticking to a routine every day nearly blows our minds, and it might blow your relationship if you don't take action. Break out of that mundane routine, go on a weekend girls' trip, or a trip with the homeboys, and just do your own thing. It gives your partner the space to miss you, and you'll miss them just as much.&nbsp;

Consider it as a well-deserved self-care to reload your energy, take time to relax and come back energised with loads of confidence. When your mind is at ease and you feel confident about yourself, your relationship, and you choose to be with them, the spark will rush back like Lightning McQueen.&nbsp;

You and your partner probably talk all day, but when was the last time you both had a real conversation that didn't involve “How your day went,” or “your plans for the week.” Having conversations is probably what got you into the relationship, and can still be the same driving force for your relationship to be long-term. Having conversations about your feelings, plans, or daydreaming together shows that you and your partner share a real emotional connection. And not the kind to fade after a disagreement, but the type that makes you want to water it diligently like a precious plant.&nbsp;

Many people take talking to their partner for granted. You can be talking to your partner every time, but not having deep conversations that helps relationships to continue sizzling. If you want to keep the spark in your relationship, you have to start initiating conversations that would trigger it.&nbsp;

Here are some good questions to kick off a deep conversation.

“What's one thing you wish I would say to you more often?”&nbsp;

“What detail about the first time we met that you'll remember forever?”

“Is there anything you think we don't talk about enough?”

Engage your partner in whatever response they give, and don't make it into an interrogation session. The goal is to keep the romance sizzling, not burn it out. It might not be easy if you struggle with having deep conversations, but you keep it light, funny and enjoyable.&nbsp;

Because you're already in a relationship with the person you like, doesn't mean you have to stop impressing them. It's understandable to get super comfortable with your partner, and they've probably seen you at your worst, yet still love you just as much. But impressing them once in a while is a great way to keep the spark alive. They've gotten used to seeing you in your everyday look and clothes with no expectations, yet still love you, so imagine what seeing you in a nice dress or new clothes and a new haircut will do to them. Your partner's heart will likely skip a beat, and be pleased to see you put in effort to impress them. The romance sizzling continues, and they, in turn, will want to impress you as well.&nbsp;

No matter how chill you and your partner have become, to revive the spark or keep it burning, you need to channel your energy to impress. Maybe once a week or in two weeks, look and feel your best. Go to a spa, or do some home self-care, buy that dress you've been eyeing, go for a haircut and plan something nice for you both.&nbsp;

If your partner won't take the actions you expect them to, how about you do it instead of hoping they'll finally get the hint? Some people are bad at being perceptive. They can't read the room unless it's spelt out to them, and your partner may be one of many. Constantly telling someone the things you expect from them or want them to do can come off as nagging. We don't want that. So, how about you take charge and make the changes? Take action and showcase how much you're willing to give your partner. With the right person, you wouldn't have to second-guess if you're doing the right thing, and they'll see how much you're putting effort, inspiring them to do exactly what you want.&nbsp;

Don't hold back from your feelings and prove how much you love them. Not just on special occasions, but consistently remind them as a reassurance. This will keep the romance sizzling, and you'll both be happy in a healthy relationship.

 One of the easiest ways to keep your romantic relationship sizzling is by doing simple acts of service in your mundane daily routine. 

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