This would have been my reaction if you had told me years ago that, I, Bisola would be in love with a man who is married. I never believed that I would have anything to do with a married man. Not in this world at least. I was among the people who defiantly insulted women who were in relationships with with married men and yet I find myself in this mess which I’m not ready to get out of.

When I met Jerry, I didn’t know he was married. I was 21 and was just done with my NYSC. We met on the flight back home, (we were heading back to Lagos) and because he was seated next to me, we engaged in small conversations till our plane landed. Even though he was used to flying more frequently than i was, he was still very nervous on the plane and so at different points, I found myself talking him through it.

I enjoyed the small conversation we had because he was a very well spoken and a very good looking man.&nbsp; My spec exactly. He was tall, dark and big muscled. He also had a very charming smile which he kept giving to me throughout the trip even though he was nervous. When we arrived at our destination in Lagos, he paid the bolt rider that dropped me off at home and that singular act made me believe he liked him.

We soon started talking every time in the subsequent days that followed. We spoke about everything and the more we spoke, the more I liked him even more.&nbsp;We went out on a first proper date one night and he chose a classical and elegant restaurant for our first date. He asked me out properly during the date that night and of course I said yes. I was absolutely delighted to be in a relationship with a man like that. He was my perfect man or so I believed.&nbsp;

After 3 months of dating, I lost my virginity to him. It seemed&nbsp; like the right thing to do. He had showered me with gifts, love and money and I knew he was the one I wanted to have sex with for the first time. The sex was perfect, he was gentle and slow with me and I fell even harder in love with him.&nbsp;We spoke everyday but 90 percent of the time we spoke was when he called. He told me he had a very busy schedule and most times&nbsp; he&nbsp; would not be able to pick my call. He also explained that I shouldn’t be worried over it because&nbsp; he would always call me during the day. I also noticed that we only spoke during the day and when I asked him about it he told me it was because he was always tired by the end of the day and just proceeded to sleep off.

I was young and naive, and I wanted him to be true so I believed&nbsp; him blindly. I was an unsuspecting young girl in love for about 6 months until one afternoon.

I stepped out with my family for a wedding invitation and got the first heartbreak of my entire life. I was seated close to my mum nibbling on a piece of wedding cake when I noticed a&nbsp; man carrying a beautiful 3 or 4 year old girl. The little girl&nbsp; was gorgeous so I just stared at her but then, the man turned towards me and that was when my heart froze.&nbsp; I met Jerry’s eyes. He stared at me rooted to the spot with the little girl.&nbsp; At the same time, I noticed that the little girl bore a striking resemblance to him.&nbsp;

While my brain struggled to process what I was seeing, a woman wearing a matching outfit walked up to him and linked arms with him.&nbsp; It could have been his sister or a cousin or a friend but there was something about the confident way she did it and the way he averted his eyes from me quickly that made me know that it was his wife. I went home that evening with a heavy lodge in my chest that till date has refused to leave. Jerry sent me&nbsp; a text the next day and confirmed to me that the woman I saw him was indeed his wife. He had&nbsp; been married for 3 years. He went on to explain that he was not in love with his wife and he was deeply in love with me. Basically, he wants us to keep seeing each other despite what I saw and I’m at crossroads on what to do.

Before I found myself in one of these situations, I was one of the girls that would shake her head defiantly at girls that slept with married men but now, It’s so hard for me to make up my mind. I have fallen so deeply for him and I can’t erase him just like that. He is my first love and I don’t think I will even be ready for other new loves because of how strongly I feel for him.

Maybe at some point in my life, I will be willing to let him go, but right now he is the love of my life and I intend to keep it that way.

''I stepped out with my family for a wedding invitation and got the first heartbreak of my entire life. ''

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