If somebody had told me 5 years ago that I, Evelyn would be married to a man older than my father, I would have laughed myself to tears. Even worse, that I would intentionally get married to a man I know is married already and even has kids. Me?

But you see, never say never. Life has a way of humbling even the proudest of people.

My name is Evelyn Ndama, and this is the tale of how I ended up saying 'I do' to a married man.&nbsp;

&nbsp;It all started one fateful day when Benjamin walked up to me on the aisle of a shopping center and offered to pay for my goods. He said “pick anything you want, I will pay”.

He had the self assuredness of an elegant rich man and even though I could tell he was way older than I was, he was still a very good looking man.

He was tall, spotted a light beard and had a little belly pouch.&nbsp;

He exuded an air of wealth and sophistication that I instantly knew would draw people toward him.

I was in a 7 months old relationship at the time, but when I crossed paths with Benjamin, something within me shifted. We exchanged numbers that day and then we started to text on the phone regularly.&nbsp;

Even though I knew he was older than I was, he never made me feel that way or even made me remember it. His charisma was irresistible, and I couldn't help but feel a magnetic pull towards him.

Our connection intensified with each passing day, and it wasn't long before I realized that my existing relationship was crumbling beneath the weight of my growing affection for Benjamin. Simply put, I was falling in love with a man old enough to be my father and there was nothing I could do about it.

Prior to him, I had never dated an older man before but I find this older man irresistible.

I knew I had to make a choice, and I knew it had to be a painful one. I decided to end my previous relationship to explore this new and captivating connection that had entered my life.

As Benjamin and I spent more time together, I found myself falling even deeper for him. But it wasn’t just him I was falling for. I was falling for the new lifestyle he afforded me. Before him, I had never dated a guy who was wealthy or who had intentionally taken care of my needs. As a matter of fact, I have always been the one taking care of the men in my life. So, being with Benjamin was such a welcome development.

What I felt for him was very intense, passionate, and seemingly unbreakable. Little did I know that beneath the surface, secrets were lurking, secrets that would forever alter the course of my life.

The turning point in our relationship arrived when Benjamin proposed marriage. It was a moment filled with anticipation and excitement, but also tinged with a lurking doubt that I couldn't shake.&nbsp;

When he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife, my heart screamed 'yes,' but my mind whispered 'beware.'

As the wedding preparations began in earnest, he confessed to me one night that he was already married and shared 3 kids with his wife. He told me that he didn’t love her anymore and he had only married her to get a US visa.

&nbsp;The revelation hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was left reeling for days from the impact.&nbsp;

“I knew it! He had seemed to be perfect to be real” Those were the words I internally screamed inside.

He told me she would never know since she wasn’t in Nigeria and we could have a low key wedding without photos involved.

I accepted because I was already knee deep into him and into the fantasy life I had built around him.&nbsp;

3 weeks after his revelations, I&nbsp; became Benjamin’s wife. More like Benjamin’s second wife really. It&nbsp;was a very small intimate wedding done in a small room. Only my family and very close friends were involved.

On my wedding day, I felt like a secret waiting to be discovered, living in the shadows of another man’s family. Worse, I felt like a thief.&nbsp; The warmth of the love I used to feel for him became eclipsed by the cold reality of his revelation.&nbsp;

It’s been 3 years since we married andI’m still confronted with questions that have no easy answers. Should&nbsp; I continue down this path of deceit? Is the allure of Benjamin's wealth and the financial security he offers enough to justify the life that I live?

My heart aches with uncertainty, and I feel like I am teetering on the edge of a precipice.&nbsp;One of the things that makes me sad is that&nbsp; my family and friends are unaware of the truth; that I live a double life. I couldn’t tell them because I know they would have never allowed me to go on ahead with the marriage.&nbsp;

My marriage to Benjamin is a web of lies, secrets, and half-truths. The weight of this deception holds down on me.

I wish I could say that my story has a neat and tidy ending, that I somehow magically found a way to navigate my secret life with Benjamin and I’m now happy, but life rarely unfolds in such predictable ways.

Can I ever find true happiness in a relationship built on deception? I guess I will have to wait to find that out for myself.

“ On my wedding day, I felt like a secret waiting to be discovered, living in the shadows of another man’s family. Worse, I felt like a thief”

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