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Gaya

You people need to stop lying. “I’m not dating anyone.” Okay. So who is the person you talk to every single day? Who are you dressing up to go and see? Why are you angry because they liked somebody’s picture? And why did you just say, “We’re going to that wedding in December”?

At some point, “we’re just talking” stops being a description of your relationship status and becomes a legal defence, because there are some things you cannot keep doing with somebody and then insist you’re single.

So, if you’re currently in a “we’re just vibing” situation, go through this checklist. If you start ticking too many boxes, we’re sorry. You’re in a relationship.

So you wake up and talk to this person. You talk during the day. You talk at night. Something happens at work and they’re the first person you tell. You see something funny online and send it to them. Before you sleep, you still have one more thing to discuss, and somehow, when someone asks if you’re dating, you say no. No what?

At this point, if you don't speak to this person for one day, both of you will start wondering what went wrong. You have built a daily communication routine with somebody you insist is just a friend. Okay.

Every Friday, you see them, or every Saturday, or every Sunday. Nobody has officially called it a date, but somehow both of you know that if Saturday comes and one person makes another plan, there will be an explanation.

You have a recurring appointment with the same person every week and still want to tell us you're single. That's not a standing date anymore. That's a relationship with calendar integration.

This one always exposes people, because you're not dating, but you know who commented under their picture. You're not dating, but you've noticed that they’ve been talking to someone new. You're not dating, but suddenly you're asking very casual questions in a tone that is not casual at all.

And when they eventually say, “Why are you jealous?” you will become offended because how dare they accuse you of being jealous in the relationship you don't have?

You know the friends. Not just their names. You know the lore. You know which one is always broke, which one is the troublesome one, which one they’ve known since secondary school and which one you personally do not trust.

You have never met some of these people, but if they come up in conversation, you know exactly who we're discussing. At this point, you are not just talking to one person. You have accidentally joined their community.

You were at the mall and saw something they would like. So you bought it. Not because it was their birthday. Not because it was Christmas. Not because they asked.

You just saw it and thought of them. Meanwhile, you're still introducing this person as “someone I'm talking to.”&nbsp;You are shopping for a person you are supposedly not in a relationship with.

One sleepover? Fine, but if you have clothes there, your charger is permanently plugged in, you know where everything is kept and you have a preferred side of the bed, please stop calling yourself a visitor.

You have belongings there. You have routines there. You probably have a mug you always use. At this point, if they change the Wi-Fi password, you should be notified.

This is where your situation has officially become unserious, because how are you having proper relationship arguments with someone you are not dating?

You're upset because they didn't communicate properly. They're upset because you ignored their message. One person says they need space. The other person says, “Fine.”

Then six hours later, someone sends “Have you eaten?”&nbsp;You people have already gone through conflict, withdrawal, reconciliation and emotional repair, but you're still calling it vibes.

You're discussing December in August. You're planning whose house you'll spend Christmas at. You've already decided where you'll go for their birthday next year. You're buying concert tickets for something happening three months from now.

So, just to clarify: you don't know if you're in a relationship, but you know where this person will be on December 26.

You've met the siblings. Their mother knows your name. You've attended a family function. You even call their mother 'mummy'. Their siblings are your friends.&nbsp;

At this point, even the family thinks you're together. The only person who hasn't received the memo is you.

Something good happens? You call them. Something terrible happens? You call them. You need advice? Them. You have gist? Them. You're angry and need to rant for 25 minutes? Congratulations, you've found your unpaid therapist.

If this person is your first instinct every time something happens in your life, you're not exactly operating like two casual acquaintances. You have a person, and apparently, that person is your “not-boyfriend” or “not-girlfriend.”

You can enter their house without announcing yourself. You have access to their food.&nbsp;You borrow their clothes. You know their schedule. You can call them late at night. You can complain when they don't respond.&nbsp;You can ask where they are. You can even say, “I don't like that person you're always talking to.”

So you have all the privileges of a relationship but somehow the title is where you draw the line.

12. You’re Planning Your Lives Around Each Other

You check with them before making certain plans.&nbsp;They check with you.&nbsp;You turn down things because you already have plans together.&nbsp;You arrange your weekends around seeing each other.&nbsp;You’re considering their schedule when making decisions.&nbsp;Your lives are already intertwined.

You're “just seeing where things go.” Where exactly? You are already there.

If you got to three or four, okay, maybe you’re still in the talking stage.&nbsp;Five to eight? Hmm. The situation is looking suspicious. If you ticked almost everything on this list and you’re still telling people you’re single, we really don’t know what to tell you.

You talk every day. You see each other regularly. You know their friends. They know yours. You get jealous. You fight. You make up. You buy each other things. You sleep over. You make plans for the future. What exactly are you waiting for? &nbsp;A press release?

At this point, the only thing missing is somebody saying, “So, are we dating?”, &nbsp;and honestly, maybe you should have that conversation. There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship. There’s also nothing wrong with deciding that you actually don’t want one, but doing everything couples do while aggressively insisting you’re not a couple is just giving everybody unnecessary work.

You can call it a situationship, talking stage, vibes, friendship with benefits or whatever new terminology the internet invents next, but babe, if it walks like a relationship, behaves like a relationship and has already met the family...

Congratulations. You’re in a relationship.

If you talk every day, sleep over, exchange gifts and make future plans, we have news for you: you’re probably in a relationship.

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