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Gaya

For Rex, sex has never been a big deal; it doesn’t go beyond two people having fun, and it definitely did not need a situation where one party was in love or, in one way, deeply infatuated by the other party. Two people just decide to have sex, and that’s it. Due to his wild ideology, he never had restraint when it came to sex, and any woman would do, no matter her body size, her looks or her intellect. He just had to find her attractive at that moment, and that was all; there were never any strings attached, and from what he remembers, he had never actually fallen in love, talk less of making love to a woman. Meeting women had never been a problem for Rex; he met them everywhere, at the club, bar, weddings, parties, and even while driving along the road. The real problem for Rex was keeping them after sex. His interest in women only lasted a short time. He would lose interest if he didn’t get a quick response, he’d lose interest immediately after sex, and every attraction he had initially felt would immediately disappear after he reached orgasm.

That was his life, meet a woman, fuck her and move on; he lacked any form of control and sexual discipline. It became a criterion that any time he stepped out for fun, he’d come back home with a woman, and she would have to leave immediately, or if he were really horny, she would spend the night. He had never seen anything wrong with his lifestyle, at least until his friends teased him about being a sex addict. Before this, he had never considered himself a sex addict, and he simply believed that every healthy man had sex the same way he did, either with different partners or with one partner. But being teased as someone who was addicted to sex and could not go a whole month without sex bruised his ego in some way that he did not understand. He decided to go on a sex fast to prove to his friends and maybe himself that he was in no way a sex addict – just a healthy man having a healthy amount of sex.

He convinced his friends that he would be able to stay without any form of penetration for a month. To make matters more unbelievable and alarming, his friends placed a bet; three amongst four believed that he would in no way be able to stay that long, and only one of them believed he could. Had he become some sort of sex monster that even his friends could not vouch for him?

Sexual fasting is simply a voluntary abstinence from sex for a specific period of time, and this form of sexual abstinence depends on what the individual usually practices or chooses. In Rex’s case, he has chosen to abstain from partnered sex, which is what he usually indulges in, while in some other cases, it could be masturbation. There are actually other cases where an individual decides to participate in oral sex but not penetrative because that might be their own form of sex fast. Simply put, sexual fasting depends entirely on your needs and preferences.

Now, there is one clear difference between sexual fasting and celibacy, and that is the time limit of commitment. For sexual fasting, a shorter and more definite time limit is placed, just like Rex, who has placed himself on a monthly fast. Another example is the No Nut November, which usually goes viral on social media. This is unlike celibacy, where the individual decides to go on a more prolonged, indefinite or maybe life-long abstinence from sex. It could be a decision to wait till marriage or a religious one that lasts for a lifetime, like the catholic Priests and Nuns, but regardless, it should be a decision you make on your own free will. To make it clearer, sex fast is more like taking a break from sex or any other form of sexual pleasure, while celibacy does not have a definite end point for most individuals.

Now for the burning question: are there health benefits for people who participate in either sexual fasting or celibacy? The answer is no. There are no scientifically proven health benefits to a sex fast or celibacy. So do not ignorantly believe when people say abstaining from sex miraculously makes you stronger or healthier. Therefore, when embarking on a sex fast, your reason should not be as dumb as sex fast would make me stronger or more energised because it doesn’t. However, there are certain personal developmental benefits that a break from sex provides; sexual fast gives individuals more self-reflective time, especially when trying to break a repetitive yet toxic sex pattern, just like Rex, who cannot step out to have fun without coming back home with a sex partner for the night.

Sex fast also gives you time to understand who you are and what you want without sex, particularly when you’re trying to build a relationship outside sex. In our dating world today, sex has become the most important criterion. Most people don’t even get to know their partner without sex being involved, and when the sex isn’t there, they find themselves either cheating or losing interest in their supposed partner. Therefore, sex fast helps you to know not just you but your partner.

There are times when people use sex to escape their problems or necessary conversations, just like drugs or alcohol. They don’t really want to have sex; as a matter of fact, half of the time, they aren’t interested in the sex or even the person who they are having sex with. They just do it to take their mind off whatever might be bothering them at that given time. In this case, sex fast might be of help because taking that break might motivate you to tackle whatever challenges.

To round it all up, Rex actually won his bet. He was able to stay a month without sex, but it had been hell for him. During the first week, he avoided everything sex down to masturbating, but after a while, he gave in to pleasuring himself, and with that, he was able to scale through his one month without sex.

Taking a break from sex does not automatically mean that you are on a celibacy journey.

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