I still remember the night when Benjamin's message unexpectedly popped up in my Instagram DMs.&nbsp;

I was rewatching an episode of Grey's anatomy (my favorite comfort watch) and lazily scrolling through my phone at the same time.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Looking back at it now, I wished I had ignored that DM.&nbsp;

How was I supposed to know that s seemingly innocent message would plunge me into a whirlwind of emotions that would take me years to get over?

You see when Benjamin slid into my Dms, I was already antsy for&nbsp; a relationship. 4 long years had passed since I had been in a relationship and it had been a very toxic one. I had spent a lot of my time healing, rediscovering myself, and nurturing the belief that my next relationship would be my last.&nbsp;

I was determined to find a genuine connection, someone kind-hearted and emotionally available. And somehow, his IG photos gave off a certain warmth and charm that seemed to hold the promise of everything I had been searching for.

Although he didn't fit my usual type, something about Ben drew me in. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, and before I knew it, he asked me out on a date.&nbsp;

We went out on a couple of fun dates and as we spent more time together, I started to like him. He seemed like a proper nice guy. The type of guy you want to proudly introduce to your friends and family. In my mind, he held the potential to provide the love and security I had always craved for in a relationship.&nbsp;

Tired of toxic relationships, I allowed myself to take a leap of faith into being with the&nbsp; “Nice Guy”.

Benjamin showered me with attention and affection in the beginning of our relationship. He truly made me feel like I was the most cherished person in the world. It was impossible not to be swept away by the intensity of his love

So yeah, with time, I did let my guard down, and became entirely vulnerable with him because I believed&nbsp; that I had finally found the happiness I longed for.

But just as soon as I had gotten comfortable and settled in the idea of a loving relationship, the tides started to turn dangerously.

Benjamin suddenly grew distant, gradually removing himself from me, bit by bit.

First an unread text. Then unreplied calls. Then canceled dinner plans.

The excuses started mounting, one after the other.

&nbsp;I was left very shocked, wondering what had happened to the person who had once showered me with affection. Nothing could have prepared me for the coldness that greeted me.

The more distant he grew, the more excruciating my pain felt.

I had allowed myself to fall deeply in love with him, convincing myself that he was the nice guy he had initially portrayed himself to be.

&nbsp;I had become addicted to the love and attention Benjamin had lavished upon me during those early days. I couldn’t let go.

Letting go meant confronting my own vulnerability and acknowledging the painful reality that the person I had fallen for was not who he appeared to be.

At the time I did not know that the entire incident that had happened to me was a classic case of love bombing.

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used by certain individuals to gain control and power over their romantic partners. It involves showering the target with an overwhelming amount of affection, attention, and love in the early stages of a relationship.&nbsp;

This intense display of love and admiration can make the recipient feel special, cherished, and even addicted to the attention they receive.

Love bombing preys upon our deepest desires for affection and security, luring us into relationships that are built on false foundations. It serves as a stark reminder that appearances can be deceiving and that taking the time to truly know someone is essential before surrendering our hearts.

The love bomber invests significant time and effort in creating an illusion of a perfect partner. They may use grand gestures, constant communication, and extravagant displays of affection to win the trust and loyalty of their target. This intense bombardment of affection can create a sense of emotional dependency, making it difficult for the recipient to see through the facade.

However, once the love bomber feels they have gained control or secured the commitment they desire, their behavior often takes a sudden shift. They may start withdrawing affection, becoming distant, and displaying inconsistent or even abusive behavior. The emotional rollercoaster leaves the person involved confused, hurt, and longing for the initial affection they experienced.

Love bombing can have long-lasting effects on the victim's self-esteem, trust, and ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

To safeguard yourself from falling into the trap of a love bomber, it's crucial to be aware of the warning signs. Here are some key indicators to look out for:

<b>Excessive and Immediate Affection:&nbsp;</b>

Love bombers tend to rush the relationship, bombarding you with an overwhelming amount of affection, compliments, and declarations of love early on. They may try to convince you that you are their soulmate before truly getting to know you.

Love bombers also often make you the center of their universe, prioritizing your needs and desires above all else. They invest an extraordinary amount of time, energy, and attention into you, creating a sense of dependency and making it difficult to see their true motives.

Love bombers push for an accelerated relationship, seeking commitment or exclusivity prematurely. They may want to quickly integrate themselves into your life, isolating you from friends and family, and creating an environment where they can exert control.

Love bombers put you on a pedestal, making you feel like the most important person in their life. However, once they have gained your trust and commitment, they may begin to devalue you, displaying inconsistent behavior, criticism, or even emotional manipulation.

Love bombers often fail to respect your personal boundaries, invading your privacy or pressuring you into situations that make you uncomfortable. They may disregard your need for personal space and individuality, seeking to merge your identities and lives together.

Love bombers exhibit unpredictable behavior, fluctuating between intense affection and sudden withdrawal. This creates an emotional rollercoaster, leaving you constantly craving their love and approval.

Well It did take me a really long time to truly get over it. The reason it took me such a long time was because nobody had told me much about it so I&nbsp; struggled for a long time&nbsp; to come to terms with what I had just experienced.

Below are some of the things I wished someone had told me earlier about love bombing that would have made it a lot more easier to get over;

Recognize that what you went through was not your fault. Understand that love bombing is a manipulative tactic used by others and that your vulnerability was exploited. Validate your emotions and give yourself permission to heal.

Set clear boundaries in your relationships and prioritize your well-being. Learn to assertively communicate your needs and expectations, and surround yourself with people who respect and support those boundaries.

Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe space for you to share your experiences and emotions. Talking about your feelings and gaining perspective from others can be instrumental in your healing process.

Take time to reflect on the patterns and red flags you may have missed during the love bombing phase. Use this self-reflection as a learning curve for other potential relationships ensuring you make more informed choices in the future.

Reconnect with your sense of self-worth and self-love. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-care, and focus on nurturing your own well-being. Remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities that make you unique.

Healing from love bombing takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to process the emotions at your own pace. Embrace self-compassion and be gentle with yourself as you navigate through the healing journey.&nbsp;

Remember not to ever&nbsp; settle for empty promises and grand gestures; instead, seek relationships based on consistency, honesty, and shared values.

''Benjamin suddenly grew distant, gradually removing himself from me, bit by bit. First an unread text. Then unreplied calls. Then canceled dinner plans. The excuses started mounting, one after the other.''

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