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Gaya

Bisi is a 27 year old transgender female who has chosen to keep her identity anonymous.

You see…everyone who knows Bisi (besides her close family and friends) genuinely believe that she is female.&nbsp;

In my conversation with her she revealed that while she was absolutely bursting to reveal her truth to people, she was intentionally goading her time because she still felt really skeptical about coming out especially in a country like Nigeria where the LBTQ+ movement is violently rejected.

While she is still on the fence about revealing her true gender identity to people, she was eager to share some of her core sexual memories as a transgender female.

What Was Your First Sexual Encounter As A Transgender Female?

''Right after I transitioned, I was still feeling very low and grappling with feelings of low self worth. I felt unwanted and conventionally unattractive. I also did not get close to people except my family and friends who knew that I was a transgender female.

One night, I was feeling really low and I a friend invited me over for a night party to boost my&nbsp; mood. Barely 30 minutes into the party, I realized that it was an LGBTQ themed party. Even though there was a lot of girl on girl and boy on boy action going on, I still couldn’t help feeling a little left out.

You see, I did not feel confident enough in my sexuality. I was scared that the homosexuals in there would not go for me since I basically looked very female and feminine and the Lesbians would also not look my way since I was genetically not a woman.

Just when I was feeling really low in spirit, a handsome lanky man walked up to me,&nbsp;&nbsp;sat next to me on the couch and introduced himself. He told me his name was Folarin. He was fair and while I did not particularly find fair guys attractive, I found myself attracted to him. We exchanged names and made small talks.&nbsp;

In the twinkle of an eye, my initial moody day got a swift boost. I found myself really enjoying the night and sinking into his warm gaze.

We spoke about so many things in the time that we were seated on the couch and bravely, I told him that I was a transgender female. He whispered “I already know” and the suggestive way he said it made all the hairs in my body stand.

He told me he wanted to relive himself in the rest room and asked me to join him. I was no naive fool, I knew exactly where this was headed.&nbsp;

I joined him 5 minutes after he walked out of the party.

The moment he saw me, he kissed me fiercely on the lips running his hands through my body. I felt wanted. Beautiful. Attractive.&nbsp;

Just when I was getting comfortable, he turned me over and slid into me.&nbsp;

It stopped me in my tracks. While I had engaged in sexual acts before, Nothing prepared me for this. The foreplay hadn’t even built up.

I looked over my shoulder at him and saw the picture of bliss that nestled in his face and so I let him.

As uncomfortable as I felt, it still felt good to be wanted so intensely by someone.

After the sexual encounter, he kissed me on my back and slipped out of the rest room. I never saw him again till date.&nbsp;

I would really say it depends. I think the sex for me in the past was good but it was daunted by the fact that I knew I wasn’t really living my truth. As a male who has transitioned to being female and is now living that reality, the sexual experiences can go really badly or really well.&nbsp;&nbsp;It’s an all or nothing situation.

Sexual experiences has varied widely and greatly for me among individuals, and factors such as personal preferences, emotional connections, and overall relationship dynamics play significant roles in determining my satisfaction.

For me, a perfect sexual experience is one that happens when I’m naturally attracted to. Person and the feeling is mutual. I love to form intimate connections with my sexual partners.

Having&nbsp;&nbsp;mutual trust, communication, and emotional connection with my partner is a crucial aspect of enhancing our sexual satisfaction.

Like I earlier stated, each person's experience is unique, and there is no universal answer that I can give that will prove that sex has gotten better for me since I transitioned.&nbsp; &nbsp;

Factors such as individual desires, compatibility with a partner, emotional well-being, and communication all influence one's sexual experiences and satisfaction.&nbsp;

It's important to me&nbsp;&nbsp;to have open and honest conversations with partners, making sure their us mutual consent, and also exploring similar sexual interests to create a much better and&nbsp;&nbsp;enjoyable sexual relationship.

My dream man in bed would be someone with whom I share a deep emotional connection with and a strong level of trust and communication.

For me, the most fulfilling experiences in bed come from a sense of intimacy, mutual exploration, and the ability to openly express desires and boundaries.&nbsp;

I love a partner who is attentive, considerate, and responsive to both my needs and their own.&nbsp;

The more compatible we are the more intensified the chemistry will be which will create a comfortable and pleasurable sexual experience.

I love a sexual partner who is willing to have open and honest discussions about desires, boundaries, and fantasies. He must also have respect for me and who I am as a person as well as an understanding of all of my sexual boundaries and preferences. I would obviously do the same. This would contribute to creating a safe and comfortable environment in which we both can fully express themselves.

In all, my dream man in bed must be someone who is in touch with his emotion and has connected with me on that deep level. That is the most important aspect for me. I genuinely believe that once that part stands, evey other thing is easier to walk towards.

Can You Share Some Tips For People Getting Into Sexual Relationships As Transgenders?

One of tips I would give people who are transitioning and craving for sexual intimacy is that they need&nbsp;&nbsp;to&nbsp;&nbsp;take out the time to explore their own body, desires, and boundaries. Understanding your own needs and preferences will help you communicate properly and effectively to your partner.

Having an open&nbsp;&nbsp;and honest communication is also a no brainer if you want to enjoy your sex life as a transgender.&nbsp;&nbsp;Discuss your gender identity with the person you want to engage in the sexual act with.&nbsp;&nbsp;Talk about any concerns or insecurities you may have, and your expectations with your partner. You see, having clear communication can foster understanding and help create a safe and supportive environment.

If your partner is unfamiliar with transgender experiences, consider providing them with resources or engaging in discussions to help them better understand your perspective. This can enhance empathy and sensitivity in the relationship.

You must also establish consent and respect each other's boundaries. Make sure you have ongoing conversations about what is comfortable for both of you, including physical touch, intimacy, and any specific triggers or limits you may have.

Make sure to prioritize your sexual health by practicing safer sex. This includes using barrier methods (such as condoms or dental dams) and regular testing for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Always surround&nbsp;&nbsp;yourself with supportive friends, community, or seek professional guidance if needed. Connecting with individuals who have shared experiences or accessing transgender-specific support can be helpful in navigating relationships.

Never forget to take care of yourself. Have a self care day for the sake of your emotional and me tail well being.&nbsp;&nbsp;Engaging in activities that promote your mental, emotional, and physical health can contribute to a positive and satisfying sexual relationship.

Finally, you must remember that not everyone will have the same level of knowledge or experience that you have. Patience and understanding can go a long way in creating a respectful and supportive sexual relationship.

It's important to prioritize your own comfort, safety, and happiness in any sexual relationship and also seek support when needed.

''While I had engaged in sexual acts before, Nothing prepared me for this. The foreplay hadn’t even built up. As uncomfortable as I felt, it still felt good to be wanted so intensely by someone.''



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