Polyamory - A form of ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy that involves having romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time.

Nigeria is a country with a high infidelity rate, and yet (surprisingly) non -monogamous relationships are rejected with an aggresive defiance.

It’s natural to see people in relationships with cheating  partners but unusual to see people accept a polyamorous one.

Polyamory is a concept that is almost “inconceivable and unthinkable” to many. People would rather accept that they’re getting “cheated on” behind the scenes than willingly give their consent for their lovers to have other partners.

For some others, Polyamory is just a scary situation to be in especially because relationships as we know them can be very difficult, juggling two partners will certainly amplify things. 

A lot of people also do not entertain the idea of Polyamory because they struggle with the idea of sharing their partners with other people.

For Ex Big brother housemate Hermes Iyele who is famous for his non conforming ways and for being in a long term relationship with two beautiful women, love and relationships are fluid and are not confined by traditional norms and societal expectations. 

While a lot of people still grapple with the concept of polyamory, Hermes is confidently living in the reality of it and thriving in it.

If you’re thinking of getting into a polyamorous relationship or you’re just curious about how it works, then who better to be our charismatic guide than the King of Polyamory himself, Hermes? 

Golden Tips On Polyamory From BBN Hermes 

The dancer and media personality who identifies as an “orisha” on social media is a creative model who has featured in countless music videos, plays and creative works in the entertainment industry. 

Hermes is known for his atypical beliefs and behaviors. While in the Big Brother house he was always ecstatic to share his truth about being in a polyamorous relationship and how he successfully navigates it.

Your Partners Should Be Aware Of Themselves

Polyamory is not an excuse to be a cheat.

Getting into a relationship with two different individuals without letting them know of the other party is cheating. 

Hermes reveals that his two girlfriends are very aware of each other and so every decision they made to be with him was one done with intentionality.

Communication is everything. Be open and honest about your feelings, desires, and boundaries. The same should go for them too! 

They should be aware of themselves and be open about their thoughts and emotions too.

It's like being in a romantic dance, where everyone knows the steps! There are no heads bumped  or feet stepped on. When you're all aware of each other's needs and wants, you can gracefully navigate the world of polyamory. 

It’s also not about  just knowing yourselves, but also respecting each other's individuality. Embrace the uniqueness of each person in the relationship.

Your Partners Should Be Cordial To Each Other

Ex BBN Hermes also revealed that his two girlfriends are actually friends with each other and support each other consistently.

Having your partners aware of each other isn’t enough. They have to mutual respect and exercise cordiality with each other. 

A polyamorous relationship is supposed to look like a love triangle without the messiness.  All three sides should be intertwined.

There should be a freedom to it. No awkwardness and bombastic side eyes. 

Now, this doesn’t mean that they have to be BFFs and share matching bracelets, but having a cordial relationship means they respect and appreciate each other's presence which makes life so much easier! 

You don't have to play referee or try to balance everyone's emotions like a therapist doing charity work. Instead, you can focus on enjoying the love and companionship of both your amazing partners.

Hermes also spilled during his time in the Big Brother house that he still gets jealous in some situations.

Yes…even the King of Polyamory himself admits that he still gets a teeny bit jealous sometimes. Ha! jealousy is a real thing!

But he confirms that it's totally okay to feel that green-eyed monster creeping in! Don't try to pretend that it isn’t there. Embrace it because guess what? It's a normal part of the polyamory package deal!

Those pangs of jealousy won't stick around forever. 

Over time, as your relationship grows and trust deepens, you'll find yourself feeling more secure and confident. 

Hermes outrightly admits to being an "Ashawo". He believes that he is not wired to be with only one woman. 

 And you know what? That's totally okay, as long as you’re honest stay authentic to yourself and to the people you’re with.

“For me, I can only operate on the truth. That truth is that, I be ashawo and I will do ashawo things. I can like more than one woman. And I will tell you that I’m with this person, if you are not fine with it, find what you like.”

BBN Hermes is like an open book with all the women he meets. He lays it all out on the table like a weekend buffet. 

This way, he is able to  give everyone the freedom to choose! If a lady isn't into the whole polyamory thing or the "Ashawo" lifestyle, no hard feelings! 

She can glide away  gracefully, and he would be perfectly cool with that.

Being upfront and honest from the start sets the stage for openness and trust, and let's be honest, who doesn't love a good dose of trust in a relationship?

So, the big takeaway here is to always  own who you are and be honest about it if you want to get into a polyamory relationship. No need to pretend or be someone you're not. Just be you, and the right people will be drawn to you like bees to honey!

Your Partners Can Have Other Partners As Well

Hermes actually encourages his partners to see other men too! 

Now, you might be thinking, "Hold on a second, isn't that a recipe for disaster?" But he states that in the end, it all works out perfectly for him. 

It’s all about freedom. The same freedom you ask for is the same freedom that you would be willing to give.

Everyone gets to taste different flavors without any guilt! 

The best part about this atypical  open-hearted approach to relationships is that, according to him, it does strengthen their bond! It's like adding extra toppings to a delicious pizza - the more, the merrier! 

When everyone knows they have the space to explore, they feel secure and supported.

Hermes believes that love is not caged and has the ability to multiply when you meet certain people.

 Polyamory is like a big love party where everyone's dancing and having a blast! While it has its own crazy allure, it can be scary to get into and totally okay if you do not want to be a part of it.

If you do decide to indulge in it, remember to come back to these golden tips.

“For me, I can only operate on the truth. That truth is that, I be ashawo and I will do ashawo things. I can like more than one woman. And I will tell you that I’m with this person, if you are not fine with it, find what you like.”



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