Futura Bold

Futura book sans-serif

Futura demi sans-serif

Futura extra-bold sans-serif

Futura heavy sans-serif

Futura light sans-serif

Futura medium sans-serif

Gaya

There are couples who have serious arguments about money, cheating and the future of their relationship. Then there are couples who can turn absolutely nothing into a full-blown disagreement.

You can be having a perfectly normal Tuesday, deeply in love, minding your business, and suddenly one of you says something with the wrong tone and now nobody is speaking. The funniest part is that neither person is actually willing to admit the fight is ridiculous. Once you're angry, principle must be defended. You will stand your ground. You will explain yourself. You may even involve your friend who has no business being involved. And three hours later, you're both laughing about it like nothing happened.

These are the fights that don't make it into relationship advice columns. The tiny, completely unserious arguments that somehow become very important for approximately 45 minutes, or, depending on the couple, three business days.

We asked couples to tell us about the pettiest fights they've ever had and we had fun reading their answers.

“This wasn't even the first time he had used my towel. I had complained about it before. Several times, I don't like sharing towels, especially bathroom towels, and he knew this. One day, I came out of the bathroom and couldn't find my towel. I asked him if he had seen it, and he said he had used it.

I asked him to explain what ‘used it’ meant. He said he used it to clean his body. 'You used my towel to clean your butts?'. He nodded, completely oblivious of the sacrilege he just committed. I just stood there. I needed a few seconds because I couldn't believe what I had heard. His own towel was literally hanging beside it. He said his was wet.

I told him that was not my problem. He said it was just a towel. That sentence almost ended the relationship. We didn't speak for the rest of the evening. He apologised the next morning and bought me a new towel. The annoying thing is that he still occasionally forgets which towel is his. At this point, I have labelled mine.”

2. He Hid The Remote Under His Pillow And Then The Light Went Off

“This one still annoys me because I know I was right. We were watching TV and I wanted to change the channel. I asked him for the remote and he said he didn't know where it was. I looked everywhere. Under the sofa. On the table. Beside the TV. Nothing.

Then the light went off. I got so angry because if this man had not kept the remote under his pillow, I would have watched TV before the light went off. I asked him where it was and he pulled it from under his pillow.

I nearly screamed. I said, ‘You knew where this thing was this whole time?’ He said he forgot he had put it there. I told him that was impossible because we had both been looking for it. He started laughing.

That made me even angrier. We sat in darkness arguing about a remote until I eventually went to sleep. The next morning he apologised. I accepted but I still believe that if he had simply kept the remote where normal human beings keep remotes, I would have watched my programme.”

“My girlfriend hissed at me. That's it. Okay, not exactly it, but the hiss was the beginning. I asked her a question and she hissed before answering me. I asked, ‘Why did you hiss?’ She said, ‘I didn't hiss.’ I said, ‘You literally just hissed.’ She said, ‘So?’ That ‘so?’ made everything worse.

We started arguing about the hiss. She said I was too sensitive. I said she was disrespectful. She said I was looking for a problem. I said the problem was already sitting beside me, making sounds with her mouth. She told me I was being dramatic.

I told her I would not continue the conversation until she apologised for the hiss.&nbsp;She refused. We didn't speak for almost three hours. Later, she came to me and said, ‘Are you still angry about the hiss?’ I said yes.&nbsp; She hissed again. We both started laughing.”

4. She Asked If I Wanted Shawarma, I Said No, Then She Wanted Mine

“This has happened more than once, which is why I was genuinely angry this time. We were out and I wanted shawarma. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted one. She said no. I asked again because I know her. She said, ‘No, I don't want.’ I asked one more time. She said, ‘Why are you asking me again? I said no.’

So I bought mine. I had barely taken three bites when she looked at me and said, ‘Let me taste it.’ I asked her if she was joking. She said she just wanted a little. I reminded her that I had asked her three times. She said she didn't know she would want it until she saw mine. I told her that was not how this worked.

She reached for it anyway and I moved it away. She said, ‘It's just one bite.’ I said, ‘Then you should have ordered one.’

At this point we were arguing over shawarma like we had joint property. I got so annoyed that I gave it to her and said, ‘Take it. Eat everything.’ She actually took it. That made me even angrier. I left and went home.

She called me later, laughing, and said she had bought me another one. I told her I didn't want it. She asked me why I was angry. I said, ‘Because I asked you three times!’ She said, ‘Okay, next time I'll say yes.’ And that is how we settled it. She still does it.”

“This has happened so many times that I don't even know why we're still discussing it. He leaves the toothpaste open. Every single time. I have told him. I have begged him. I have demonstrated how to close it. I have even left the cap beside the toothpaste like a visual aid. Nothing.

One morning, I squeezed the toothpaste and the whole top had dried. I called his name from the bathroom. He came and asked what happened. I showed him the toothpaste. He said, ‘Oh.’ Just ‘oh’.

I asked him why he keeps doing this. He said he forgets. I told him he doesn't forget his phone password. He said I was comparing toothpaste to a phone. We argued. He closed the toothpaste. I thought the matter was settled.

The next morning, it was open again. At this point, I don't think we're fighting the toothpaste anymore. I think the toothpaste is fighting me.”

6. She Keeps Finishing The Water And Leaving The Bottle There

“My girlfriend has a very annoying habit: she will finish the water and leave the empty bottle in the fridge. This has happened more times than I can count. I have asked her to refill it. She says okay. She doesn't. One day I came home from work extremely thirsty, opened the fridge and saw an empty bottle.

I called her and asked why it was there.&nbsp;She said, ‘I forgot.’ I asked how you forget that you finished the water. She said she was busy. I asked what she was busy doing. She said she was watching TikTok.

We fought. She told me to refill it myself. I told her she was the one who finished it. She said, ‘So now we're fighting over water?’ I said, ‘No. We're fighting because you keep doing the same thing.’ She said, ‘Okay.’ That ‘okay’ started another fight. She eventually refilled the bottle.

Two days later, I opened the fridge. Empty bottle. I didn't even call her. I just stood there and stared at the ceiling.”

“This man has his own charger. His charger works perfectly.&nbsp;Yet somehow, whenever I need mine, it is with him. I will ask, ‘Where is my charger?’ He will say, ‘I don't know.’ Then I'll find it beside his bed.

The first few times, I laughed. Then I started getting annoyed.&nbsp;One night my phone was on 3% and I couldn't find my charger. I checked his room and there it was, charging his phone.&nbsp;I unplugged it and took it.

He asked what I was doing. I said, ‘Taking my property.’ He said, ‘But my phone is charging.’ I said, ‘Use your charger.’ He said he couldn't find it. I said, ‘Exactly.’

We argued for about 20 minutes. He eventually found his charger under the bed. I have no idea why he keeps using mine. At this point, I think he just likes my charger.”

8. “I'm Coming” Apparently Means “I Have Not Even Showered”

“My girlfriend's ‘I'm coming’ does not mean she's coming.&nbsp;It means she has heard me ask where she is. One Saturday, we were supposed to leave at 2 p.m. At 1:45, I asked if she was ready.

‘I'm coming.’ At 2:15: ‘I'm coming.’ At 2:40: ‘I'm coming.’ I called her at 3. ‘I'm coming.’ I asked where she was. ‘At home.’

I nearly lost my mind.&nbsp;I asked her if she was dressed. She said yes.&nbsp;I got to her room and she was still in a towel. I told her English language had been abused in our relationship. She started laughing. I wasn't laughing.

We eventually left at 3:30. She still says ‘I'm coming’ now. I no longer believe her. I just calculate an extra two hours in my head.”

“We agreed to watch a movie together. Together. That was the agreement I went to take a shower and told her to wait for me. When I came back, she had started the movie.

Not five minutes. Twenty minutes. I stood there and asked her what she was doing. She said, ‘Watching the movie.’ I said, ‘But we said we would watch it together.’ She said, ‘I'm already watching it. Come and sit down.’ I refused. She said I was being childish. I told her she had broken the agreement.

She laughed. I didn't watch the movie that night. The next day she asked me to watch it with her from the beginning. I said no. We watched something else. I still haven't forgiven her.”

“We have a chair in our room. That chair is apparently my husband's second wardrobe. Every day, he comes home, changes and puts his clothes on the chair. I have told him to stop. He stops for maybe two days. Then the chair starts looking like a laundry basket again.

One evening I came into the room and saw his trousers, shirt and socks on the chair.&nbsp;I asked him why. He said he would put them away later. I told him he had been saying ‘later’ for three years.

He said, ‘So what's the problem?’ I said, ‘The problem is the chair.’

I told him to stop laughing and remove his clothes. He said I was stressing myself. I told him I would throw the clothes away. He said, ‘Try it.’ I nearly did.

We eventually settled it. The next morning, there was one sock on the chair. Just one. I didn't say anything.

The funniest thing about petty relationship fights is how confidently people enter them. Nobody wakes up thinking, Today, I will fight my partner because they left an empty water bottle in the fridge but somehow, here we are.

One minute you're in love. The next, you're standing in the bathroom demanding to know why somebody used your towel for purposes your towel did not consent to and the truly dangerous part. These fights rarely stay about the thing that started them.

It's the towel today. Tomorrow it's the toothpaste. Next week it's “Why did you hiss at me?” and somehow, by bedtime, you're both on opposite sides of the bed, refusing to apologise because you know what? You were right.

And suddenly the war is over. Love is beautiful.

Some couples fight about serious things. Others can turn the smallest, most ridiculous incident into a full-blown war. We asked couples to confess the pettiest fights they've ever had, and honestly, love is not for the weak.

read more