You know that thing you do in relationships? The one you pretend isn't a pattern but definitely is? The thing your friends have tried to bring up, but you always change the subject?

Yeah. That thing. This quiz is going to call you out on it. And honestly? You need it.

Because somewhere between "I don't have commitment issues" and "I just haven't found the right person yet," you've been ignoring the very obvious red flag you've been waving around like a parade banner.

So grab your phone, answer these questions, and prepare to be humbled. It's Valentine's week. If you can't be honest with yourself now, when can you?

Someone you've been seeing for a few weeks asks, "So what are we?" How do you respond?

A) Panic internally, then say "I don't really like labels" even though you absolutely do B) Get defensive and ask why they're trying to ruin a good thing by making it complicated C) Immediately start planning your wedding in your head D) Ghost them for three days, then come back like nothing happened

Your partner hasn't texted back in 3 hours. What are you doing?

A) Checking their Instagram story to see if they've been active (they have) B) Convincing yourself they're probably dead, then getting mad when they text back casually C) Texting them again. And again. And maybe calling once. Okay, twice D) Not even noticing because you're also not that invested

How do you handle conflict in relationships?

A) Avoid it at all costs, then bring it up three months later during an unrelated argument B) Turn it into a bigger issue than it needs to be because you're testing if they'll stay C) Apologize immediately even when you're not wrong because you can't stand the tension D) Disappear until the problem goes away (it doesn't)

What's your Instagram behavior when you're in a situationship?

A) Post cryptic stories that are definitely about them but you'll deny it if asked B) Soft-launch them, then panic and delete it an hour later C) Post them immediately and tag them in everything like you've been married for years D) Post like you're single because technically you haven't had "the talk" yet

How long does it take you to catch feelings?

A) Months. Maybe years. Possibly never B) You don't catch feelings, you create drama to avoid them C) Approximately 48 hours after the first date D) You catch feelings, then run away the second they reciprocate

A) Respond immediately because you've been waiting for this B) Screenshot it and send it to the group chat with "what does this mean?" C) Ignore it, but think about it for the next three days D) Respond, flirt a little, then feel guilty and ghost again

A) Something low-key so you don't have to actually be vulnerable B) Something dramatic enough to post about but casual enough to deny it meant anything C) Anything, as long as you're together (you're already planning date number 10) D) You bail last minute because commitment feels scary

A) You don't, because that requires acknowledging your emotions B) "They were all crazy" (they probably weren't) C) You're still friends with all of them and it's definitely not weird (it is) D) You pretend they don't exist unless you're drunk and sad

Someone tells you they love you. What's your response?

A) "Thank you" (wrong answer, but you panic) B) Immediately question if they mean it or if they're just trying to trap you C) Say it back instantly, even if you've only known them two weeks D) Freeze, then change the subject and hope they forget they said it

A) Being emotionally vulnerable and getting hurt B) Losing control or looking stupid C) Being abandoned or not being enough D) Actually committing and realizing you can't run away anymore

Count up how many A's, B's, C's, and D's you got. Whichever letter you have the most of is your red flag. Ready? Let's go.

MOSTLY A'S: THE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE ONE

You're the person everyone's friends warn them about. Not because you're mean, but because you're distant. You don't do labels. You don't do vulnerability. You don't even really do feelings if you can help it.

You'll be in a relationship for six months and still refer to the person as "someone I'm seeing." You'll say things like "I'm just not ready for anything serious right now," even though you've been saying that for three years.

Here's the thing, you're not protecting yourself by keeping people at arm's length. You're just making sure no one ever gets close enough to actually know you. And that's not independence, that's fear.

What your exes say about you: "They were great, but I never really knew where I stood."

What you need to work on: Letting people in. Vulnerability isn't weakness. And commitment doesn't mean losing yourself.

You don't just have relationship drama, you are the relationship drama.

You're the person who turns a small disagreement into a three-hour fight because you need to know if they'll stay. You test people constantly. You pick fights when things are going too well because peace makes you uncomfortable.

You say you hate games, but you're the one playing them. You're suspicious, jealous, and convinced everyone's going to hurt you, so you hurt them first.

Here's the uncomfortable truth, you're not protecting yourself. You're sabotaging every good thing before it has a chance to hurt you. And in the process, you're becoming the villain in your own love story.

What your exes say about you: "It was exhausting. I never knew what I did wrong."

What you need to work on: Trusting people. Not everyone is your ex. Stop punishing new people for old wounds.

You fall fast. Too fast. Like, "we've been on two dates and I'm already planning our future" fast.

You're the person who says "I love you" first (way too soon). You're already talking about moving in together after three weeks. You're posting them on Instagram before they've even agreed to be exclusive.

And when they inevitably pull back because you're moving at the speed of light? You panic. You double down. You convince yourself that if you just love them harder, they'll stay.

But here's the thing: love isn't supposed to feel like pressure. And the right person won't need you to convince them to stay.

What your exes say about you: "They were sweet, but it was too much too fast."

What you need to work on: Slowing down. Relationships need time to grow. Stop trying to force a connection that hasn't had a chance to develop naturally.

You're here. Then you're not. Then you're back. Then you're gone again.

You're the person who disappears for days without explanation, then shows up like nothing happened. You're great at the beginning, flirty, fun, attentive. But the second things get real, you vanish.

Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's commitment issues. Maybe you just like the chase more than the relationship. Whatever it is, you're leaving a trail of confused, hurt people behind you who have no idea what they did wrong.

Spoiler: they didn't do anything wrong. You just don't know how to stay.

What your exes say about you: "I don't even know what happened. One day they were there, the next they weren't."

What you need to work on: Staying. Communicating. Showing up even when it's uncomfortable. Running away doesn't solve anything, it just makes you harder to trust.

Now that you know your red flag, you have two choices, Ignore this, continue doing the same thing, and wonder why your relationships keep ending the same way. Acknowledge it, work on it, and maybe, just maybe, stop being your own worst enemy in love.

Everyone has a romance red flag. The pattern you repeat. The thing your exes noticed. Take this quiz and find out what yours is before you ruin another good thing.

Sex & Relationships

What's Your Romance Red Flag?

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