I vividly remember the day I decided I was going to go natural. It was back in 2017 and the natural hair trend was at its peak. It was beautiful to witness all the different 4c curls being worn and styled.

I wanted to be a part of that community. So, I woke up one morning and did the big chop.

Boy! I wasn’t prepared for how unmanageable my natural hair would be. I started to dread being with my own hair. After 5 years of misery with bits of magical 4c hair moments in between, I decided I was going to relax my hair. I had had enough.

I wanted to enjoy running my hands through sleek strands once again. I wanted to enjoy wearing my braids for more than 2 weeks again. I wanted to enjoy combing my hair without wincing in pain every single time. Deciding to relax my 4c hair (gorgeous as it was) was a completely personal decision.

I loved being natural. Until I didn’t.

One morning in 2022, I walked into a salon and told the hairdresser what I wanted to do to my hair. She looked absolutely horrified.

“Ahhh…don’t relax your hair oooo. So you want to relax all this thick fine hair.”

She suggested other hair treatments that she could offer me that would make my hair softer and more manageable. I politely declined.

I remained adamant in my decision to relax my hair and then the other women seated in the salon joined in to support her.

They all pitched in one way or the other, trying to convince me that my decision to relax my hair would be something I would eventually regret. When I eventually watched my 4c curls fall around my face, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of failure.

I felt like I had failed the natural hair community. 

The 4C Hair Story

It all started in the early 1900s when Madame C.J. Walker, a black woman entrepreneur, developed a line of hair care products specifically for black women. 

At the time, this was an outstanding development for the black women. This was because, black women had been using harsh chemicals to straighten their hair, which often led to hair damage and scalp burns. 

Madame C.J. Walker's products provided a gentler and more effective way for black women to care for their hair.

Fast forward to the 1960s and 70s, the black rights activism and freedom fight was in full swing and during this time, a lot of black people started to out rightly reject the western systems and cultures.

One major cultural symbol for most blacks at that time was Afro. Wearing Afro hair became a symbol of pride and resistance.

Black women began wearing their hair in its natural state, embracing all of  its texture and volume. This was a beautiful bold statement in a  society where black women had been constantly told that their natural hair was inferior and unattractive.

But, the relaxed hair will have a resurgence. 

In the 80s and 90s,  celebrities like Whitney Houston and Janet Jackson, started wearing their relaxed hair again. And just like that, relaxed hair once again became the new standard of beauty for black women.

It was a symbol of sophistication, elegance and professionalism. Black women who dared to wear their hair in its natural state were often seen as rebellious or unkempt.

The relaxed hair trend will begin to decline again from 2010 with so many young black women proudly wearing their natural hair in versatile styles.

Over the last decade, there has been a total shift  in the beauty industry. More and more brands are now creating hair care products specifically for natural hair. This has made it easier for black women to care for their hair and has also given them more options when it comes to styling.

Black women are now more vocal about the need for representation and inclusivity. This has led to more black women being featured in mainstream media with their natural hair, which has helped to shift societal perceptions of natural hair as unprofessional or unattractive.

The Pendulum Pattern Of The Natural And Relaxed Hair Trend

Like a clock that keeps swinging, the natural and relaxed hair trend is one that will keep changing with each coming decade.

For example, at the moment, the natural hair trend is on a slow decline and we see people embracing their relaxed hair once again.

Give it a few years and the reverse will be the  case. And so it goes. And so it goes.
 

Th Black Women Who Wear Their Natural Hair - An Act Of Rebellion?

For centuries, black women have been told that their hair was unattractive, unprofessional, and unkempt. This is a message that has been reinforced through media, advertising, and even in schools and workplaces, where black women have been discriminated against for wearing their natural hair. I genuinely believe the natural hair movement represents a rejection of these harmful beauty standards and a reclaiming of black women's own natural beauty. 

It is a form of resistance against a culture that has historically marginalized and oppressed black people. It is a way for black women to reject the idea that their hair is inherently inferior, and to challenge the societal norms that have forced them to conform to white beauty standards. As much as I appreciate the natural hair movement, I have beef with most of the people involved. 

How much is too much? - Why The Natural Hair Community Needs To Stop The Attack On Relaxed Hair

The war between the natural and relaxed hair communities has been raging for years. The natural hair community, which champions wearing hair in its natural state, has been consistently critical of those who choose to relax their hair. 

I get it! The natural hair movement is rooted in the idea that black women should love and celebrate their natural hair. And while this is a worthy goal, it's important to recognize that not every black woman wants to wear their hair in its natural state. Some black women may prefer the convenience and ease of relaxed hair.

The problem with attacking those who choose to relax their hair is that it encourages the same negative messaging that black women have been subjected to for centuries. You’re no better than the western system you rebel against. 

I believe it is a form of mental slavery to see the natural 4C hair as the only acceptable hair type for black women. Real liberation is the free reins to do anything you want to do with what you have. 

The belief that black women should not relax their hair is negative and dismissive of the feelings of women who decide to.

 For me, deciding to relax my hair was easily the best decision I could have made for my hair. Wearing my  natural hair came with so many challenges, and I just didn’t have  the patience and energy for it.

The decision to relax my hair came from a place of personal choice and preference. It had absolutely nothing to do with conforming to Western beauty standards, but rather about doing what feels best for myself and my hair. 

It's important for the natural hair community to recognize that the decision to wear one's hair in its natural state can be a  personal one, and should be respected as such. 

I also understand that a lot of criticism about relaxed hair can sprout from a place of concern. Using relaxers can cause some  negative side effects to our scalp and hair  when done wrong. The goal should be to educate and inform not attack. 

As black women, our hair is more than just something that grows out of our heads. It's a reflection of our culture, our history, and our identity. 
 

The natural hair movement is not about shaming those who choose to relax their hair. Rather, it's about celebrating and uplifting all forms of black beauty, including relaxed hair. 

The goal should be to empower black women to make their own choices about their hair, free from the influence of societal pressure or expectations.

More Than An Aesthetic 

Black hair is more than an aesthetic. Or a trend. It’s a movement that focuses on liberation.

It’s the right to wear our own hair with pride in whatever  form we wish to.

It’s  a choice we make for ourselves , and not because of any outside influences. That’s the power of liberation.

Instead of warring with one another, let's work together to uplift and celebrate the beauty of black hair in all its forms.