Life & Love
“It’s sad but I can relate. I was in a relationship with a girl I just couldn't stand, but I couldn't leave either. It's complicated.“
By Ifunanya Nwanoka
PUBLISHED: October 10, 2023
When I heard of the Twitter thread where a lot of Nigerian men wholeheartedly spilled on hating their partners, my heart dropped to my stomach. As a curious soul, I couldn't help but check out the infamous threads and with each read, my heart sank farther below my belly.
The revelations were shocking. As a “confam” lover girl, I was crushed and absolutely gutted.
But I needed more insight, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I embarked on a mini Twitter survey, casually asking some random guys for their take on the viral Twitter thread. What followed were responses that ranged from utter horror to amusement, and some that walked the thin line between love and resentment.
These 10 Nigerian guys gave their honest raw feedback to the Twitter trend. So sit back, keep an open mind and read;
“I just couldn't understand it, you know? How could anyone stay in a relationship they hated? It shocked me when I read that Twitter thread. Being in a relationship with someone you secretly hate is an absolute madness; – it just doesn't make sense.”
“From where I stand, I found the whole thing kind of funny. I personally didn't take it too seriously because I thought some of those stories were made up. It made me chuckle seeing how worked up Nigerian girls got, wondering if their partners secretly disliked them. So they care this much?”
“Let me break it down for you. Both men and women feel a bit annoyed in relationships sometimes; it's normal. The difference is how we show it. Men like me might vent on Twitter, while women tend to keep it inside. A little irritation here and there is okay, but it shouldn't ruin the whole relationship.”
“It’s sad but I can relate. I was in a relationship with a girl I just couldn't stand, but I couldn't leave either. It's complicated. I wanted to find someone new before breaking up, and I knew she was a good person. It just shows how we can get stuck in relationships that aren't right for us.”
“See, I’m not trying to support the Twitter thread but all I’m saying don’t knock it till you’re in the same position. I've gone from being head over heels in love to feeling really bitter in past relationships. I can't pinpoint when it happens, but once it does, it's like an unstoppable force. Love can turn sour, and that's tough to deal with. But then, life is tough. Get used to it.”
“I was really confused by all of that. I can’t understand why someone would stay in a loveless relationship. To me, it seemed like they were hurting themselves for no reason. If you're unhappy with your partner, why not just break up? Haba”
“My view is a bit extreme. After reading that Twitter thread, I thought maybe it's better if everyone just stays single ooo. There’s too much drama in this relationship thing. I’m worried that love would no longer exist at this point. I didn't want to risk heartache in a relationship.”
“I noticed something troubling since the Twitter thread. Most Women are now more resolute in their decision to date for money and not love. It's just sad to see how they had become less open to love because they were afraid of getting hurt. Men don’t understand that what they just did is a boomerang, it will bounce back to not favor them. It will be harder to find women who are open to love and it was even hard before the thread ooo.”
“I can’t relate at all. Maybe I’m different. I'm in a great, loving relationship and have been for 7 years now. I love my baby and I’ve never found myself feeling resentful towards her. Maybe these guys were never in love or maybe they loved their partners for the wrong reasons.”
“I didn't find that Twitter thread funny or relatable. To me, it was disturbing because it showed that some people needed serious help. I thought many of those who shared their stories needed therapy. “
So, what's the takeaway from these 10 reactions? Perhaps it's that we should all be single and call it a day because what is love if it will lead to resentment one day? What is love if you might never get it back? What is love if it will hurt?
In the end, whether you find yourself horrified, amused, skeptical, or deeply in love, understand that relationships are a rollercoaster ride with no guaranteed outcomes, and we're all just passengers going along with it until it hits a bump.