In October 2019, Sandra was admitted into one of the most prestigious private universities in Nigeria, before her admission, she had dreamed of attending the University of Lagos (UNILAG) but her parents were against it because of the frequent strikes and opted for a private university. She had always viewed private universities as glorified secondary school extensions because of their strict and unnecessary rules but being young, her opinions didn’t matter at that time in addition to the fact that friends of her parents gave them more than enough reasons why they should not send her to a federal university. Eventually, she got into the university and three weeks into her admission she fell stupidly in love with a 300-level boy and she remembers being so excited about being liked by someone at a higher level.&nbsp; The twist in being a fresher is that as a guy, it is difficult to get the ladies because most of the female freshers are being asked out by guys at higher levels and most girls enjoy the idea of being with an older girl than a guy of similar age. But most of the higher-level guys are not going for freshers because they liked them but because they had scores to count. During Sandra’s time in school, it was called the October rush because newly admitted students resumed October and the higher level boys would begin their hunt, it was all fun and games to them but most girls went through their major heartbreak because of that little game.

Sandra was one of those girls who fell into their trap, she was one of the girls that most guys wanted to hit on but she had always been too careful and too sceptical but that didn’t save her from falling into Richard’s trap. Thinking about it now, she didn’t understand why she liked the guy because he brought nothing to the table and offered her the bare minimum throughout their supposed relationship.&nbsp; Sandra had been a virgin throughout their relationship, the farthest they had gone was a makeout session that did not involve any form of penetration and Richard was getting restless. He convinced her that he was a sex addict and that he was doing everything he could not to cheat on her – which was a lie by the way because she later found out that he was frolicking around with various girls in various levels. This boy did not even have a particular type of girl he was attracted to, he went for skinny, thick, short, and tall, and no one could pinpoint his actual kind of girl.

It didn’t take long before he convinced her to send him nudes, his reason being that since he was doing everything he could not to cheat on her, going with her pace, she should at least try to meet him in the middle, and she did. But being so young and naïve, she was not familiar with sexual territory, she didn’t know there were rules set in place to guide you and keep you safe to a certain extent. She bombarded him with pictures and videos of herself, she was only trying to keep her man, she made sure she sent him something at least every day to keep his blood running. It didn’t take up to two weeks before her nudes started circulating around school, it started with boys in Richard’s room, then to boys in his hostel and department, and then slowly almost the entire school had her nudes. And it wasn’t the sort of nudes you could deny because he never hid her face, she trusted her man way too much.

The thing about leaked nude is that the exposed part is usually always the last to find out, it takes a certain grace to be among the first few people to find that your nude has been leaked. Sandra fell into the majority, before she realized her nudes had been leaked it had become too late to stop it. She felt so ashamed; she avoided classes and people in general. It didn’t take too long before her school authorities also got their hands on her tapes, they called her in for question, and they also called Richard in, It had been a really messy situation that almost caused her admission. Her parents were also involved during the disciplinary hearing she can still remember the disappointment and pity etched all over their faces. Her father was so mad that he almost slapped Richard for hurting his little girl but that didn’t stop the “I thought we trained you better than this” talk. Richard was suspended for a while because he was older and should have known better while Sandra was sent for counselling and also punished to join the school cleaners in cleaning her department because sexual immorality was prohibited on the university grounds. It took a while before her leaked tapes became the least interesting topic in school, she eventually moved on from the embarrassment she felt.

Although it is advisable to avoid sexting and sending nudes we cannot deny the pleasure and thrill it provides especially to long-distance couples. So for safety purposes, these are 5 golden rules that should be adhered to when sexting;

You should always remember that no means no, do not be one of those people who randomly send unsolicited nudes to people on social media, particularly on Snapchat. Ensure you get the consent of your partner before hitting the record button, you could start by sending a flirty message to ask if they are interested in having a naughty conversation but always remember to seek their consent first.

One of the golden rules of sexting is to set boundaries and discuss with your partner your do’s and don’ts in sexting. This would avoid any form of miscommunication or misunderstanding along the line. Your boundaries could be anything. They could be as simple as not saving any video or picture I send you, or they could be how far you’re willing to go during sexting. The point remains that boundaries should be set between both parties.

Try as much as possible to practice sending safe nudes because you’d never know if it would be leaked. Simply put, safe nudes are nudes that have no identity, like nudes without a face or if you have a unique tattoo or birthmark, make sure it isn’t visible when sending nudes because, in this case, less identification means more protection.

Your partner’s nudes are not for your friends; they are not for any third party because they were sent to you in trust, and so you should protect them at all costs. There are numerous occasions where nudes are leaked by a third party. It could be someone you consider your friend, someone who borrowed your phone, or even your partner. Therefore, it is advisable to either delete or lock up such videos and pictures; also, for no reason should you ever consider leaking your partner’s nudes.

We all know that being drunk gives a different level of courage, but most mornings, after being sobered up, you regret whatever you did while being drunk. So avoid being drunk while sexting; this would prevent situations like sexting the wrong person or sending your nudes to a group chat instead of your partner.

In conclusion, you should always bear in mind that 80% of the time nudes get leaked. Therefore, you should question yourself if that’s really what you want and how much you trust your partner. Also, opt for social media applications like Snapchat, which has numerous features like delete after viewing, delete after 24 hours, or alerting you when your chats or posts are being saved. But still, have fun!

Sexting is a great means of spicing up your relationship, particularly long-distance relationships but sexting has rules that need to be followed to ensure your protection.

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